


cookie-related crime

by catbrains



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Cookies, Fluff, Gen, featuring izaya being a good “big brother” and shiki being awkwardly fatherly towards him, ooc probably but it’s christmas who’s gonna stop me, someone steals akane’s cookies and the awakusu are Pissed, until izaya figures out the shocking truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 12:59:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17142206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catbrains/pseuds/catbrains
Summary: Akane bakes a plate of cookies to leave for Santa, but they mysteriously disappear from the Awakusu base.  Izaya is enlisted to find the culprit of such a heinous crime.(Written for the 25 Days of Durarara!! event on the Durarara!! Amino.)





	cookie-related crime

**Author's Note:**

> (not proof read, please tell me if there are any mistakes!)
> 
> me? constantly writing uncharacteristically cute stuff based on things that would never even vaguely happen in canon? it’s more likely than you think

“Are you out of your mind?”  
The deadly tone of Shiki’s voice, cutting through the silent air of the room like one of the kid informant’s knives, is not enough to make Akabayashi flinch, but it is certainly enough to pique his curiosity.     
Shiki is angry, clearly, but it’s that quiet sort of fury that usually only comes out when Akabayashi does something stupid to really, really piss him off.   
To his knowledge, he’s done nothing of the sort recently, so he only tilts his head and smiles coldly as the other man walks into the room, an intentionally imperfect picture of innocent curiosity.   
  
Shiki had been sat with Akabayashi only a half hour previously, waiting for Izaya to show up and give them some important information about another syndicate that was just beginning to encroach on significant territory, but Shiki had been called away on some crucial issue from the boss, leaving Akabayashi alone to wait for the informant’s arrival.   
Izaya had arrived perfectly on time, of course, and had looked anything but happy to see that Shiki was not waiting for him.  The brief conversation that he and Akabayashi had been having had been bitter and tense, despite being masked by the usual smiles and venomous politeness, and it was clear that - despite the aggressive atmosphere - they were rather glad to have Shiki back in the room, as a buffer if nothing else.   
  
“Wipe that smug look off your face,” Shiki hisses.  “It must’ve been you.”   
Akabayashi merely shakes his head as Shiki stalks towards him, the soles of his expensive shoes clicking dangerously against the stone floor.   
“I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about, Shiki-san,” he says honestly, and Shiki’s cold eyes narrow.   
“The cookies, Akabayashi.  I’m talking about the cookies.”   
A snort sounds from across Akabayashi, and both he and Shiki look to see Izaya trying very hard to keep a neutral expression despite the clear urge to laugh.   
  
“I apologise,” he says, coughing in an effort to compose himself, but his eyes are shimmering with a childish sort of mirth.  “I was caught off-guard by the issue apparently at hand. Did you say cookies, Shiki-san? Did Akabayashi-san steal your lunch box?”   
Shiki looks like he has half a mind to yell at the informant amount respect and appropriate comments and business relationships, but he merely sighs thinly to compose himself.   
  
“The princess’ cookies,” he clarifies.  “The ones she made with her mother and brought in to leave for Santa Claus.  They’re missing, and Mikiya is ready to murder somebody. The reason I was called down was to try and stop him from shooting one of the kids in the face.”   
Akabayashi seems torn between amusement, the same as Izaya, and concern that something has happened that would clearly upset Akane.  She certainly wasn’t the type to throw a tantrum over it, but she would definitely be disappointed, and may even cry.   
Nobody in the syndicate could handle that.   
  
“So, just to get the facts straight, you think I stole the princess’ cookies?” Akabayashi asks, and feels somewhat affronted when Shiki nods.   
“You were the only one in there earlier.  I know none of the kids would dare to touch them, not when they were left on Mikiya’s desk, but you seem to have a notorious problem with authority.”   
“That’s a baseless accusation, Shiki-san.  And you may as well take Mikiya out of the equation entirely.  He doesn’t matter. Now, why do you think I’d do something that would upset Akane-chan, with all the effort I’ve put into looking after her? Do you consider me the type to enjoy encroaching on the seasonal joy of small children?”   
  
Shiki scowls, but it’s only because he knows he’s been backed into a corner here.  Akabayashi is right, of course - he’s the last person who would do something to upset Akane, or any child.  But who else is there? Who else not only had access to Mikiya’s office, where the cookies were stored, but the confidence to walk over there and take them?   
  
“Hey,” Akabayashi says suddenly, and Shiki feels his lip twitch in contempt as he is pulled out of his thoughts.  “Why are we trying to solve this mystery ourselves, when we’ve got a specialist sitting right here?”   
Shiki blinks for a moment, confused, before his eyes travel to the leather sofa across from Akabayashi and land on Izaya, who seems to be paying rapt attention to the both of them, thoroughly amused.   
Noticing the sudden attention on himself, however, he looks affronted.   
“I’m sorry,” he says, eyes darting between the two older men.  “A specialist?”   
  
“Yes,” Akabayashi grins, his voice warm.  “This is what you do, isn’t it? Solve mysteries, return stolen goods?”   
“You’re making me sound like Sherlock Holmes, Akabayashi-san.  That’s not—“   
“You’re right.”   
Izaya lets out a highly undignified squeak as he is interrupted by Shiki.  He looks to the man, still stood looking over himself and Akabayashi, and does his best to look pitiful, as if begging for mercy, but Shiki has a very particular glint in his eyes.   
  
“You seem to be the only man for the job, Izaya-san.  I’ve assigned you far harsher tasks in the past, haven’t I? What makes you balk at the thought of this one?”   
“It’s ridiculous!” Izaya protests indignantly.  “I have things to do. I have other clients. I don’t have the time to run around your convoluted art gallery headquarters searching for a plate of lost cookies!”   
Shiki hums sympathetically, but it’s as if he’s listening to the petulant tantrum of a small child.   
“Now, now, there’s no need to work yourself up.  It won’t take long if you’re as good as you say, no? Just ask a few questions, poke around a little.  Surely you’ll be able to work it out purely from the guilty glint in the culprit’s eyes?”   
  
Izaya looks like he wants to argue more.  His hands are curled into fists at his sides and his narrow shoulders are hunched up by his ears.  He looks so young that it’s almost endearing. Neither Akabayashi nor Shiki take much time to consider that the man really is only twenty-three - still a boy, by most counts - but he certainly looks his age right now, if not significantly younger.   
“Go on,” Shiki encourages, his tone as businesslike as it usually is, but somehow holding an extra lilt of something.  It reminds Akabayashi of the way he talks to Akane. “Go and find the guilty party, and then we can discuss your reward.”   
  
Izaya is still scowling, looking positively furious to be not only forced into something so ridiculous, but also coaxed like a child.  He doesn’t really want to sit here and argue anymore though, and squeezing some “reward” out of Shiki as repayment does sound nice. He likes the idea of Shiki owing him something.   
Sniffing derisively, he stands up and makes his way out of the office, pointedly ignoring the way Akabayashi laughs at him like he’s a sulking toddler.   
  
Outside of the office, the building seems to be in chaos.  The galleries are usually rather quiet, particularly compared to the main office building that the Awakusu-Kai operate in, which is the only reason why the princess - little Awakusu Akane - is allowed to run around in them.  How exactly she got her father to agree to her bringing cookies to leave here for Santa, Izaya does not know, but the fact that the cookies are now missing and time is ticking rapidly before the princess finds out and throws a fit seems to be enough to throw a wrench in the usual smooth flow of things.   
Although, it is rather amusing to watch surly yakuza run around so frantically, yelling at each other about where exactly this plate of cookies could’ve been taken.     
There had to be evidence somewhere, right?   
  
Following the same logic, but not the same frantic desperation, Izaya makes his way towards Mikiya’s office within the underground of the gallery.  A look around it doesn’t bring up much, besides a brief interaction with Mikiya who seems to be even more insufferable than usual, frantic and snippy as he barks on the phone to someone or other.  It almost sounds as if he’s trying to order in some cookies to mimic the ones his daughter made, though he doesn’t seem to know enough about the original cookies to be able to order a convincing replacement.     
  
‘How caring,’ Izaya scoffs to himself in his head, walking briskly out of the office and looking around the hallway, taking note of the circuit that most of the men seem to be taking.  All of the offices are being searched diligently, with sofas being overturned and chests of drawers being all but torn apart, searching for the cookies or - more likely - the empty plate.   
  
However, Izaya notices, the thorough search seems to be missing a certain area.  Mikiya’s office is at the end of the main hall, meaning that most of the building is ahead of it.  There isn’t anything beyond it, seemingly, meaning that it would be unreasonable to expect the culprit to go that way, but...   
Well, while all of the men running around are good at thinking like thieves and criminals, Izaya is good at thinking like a child.   
  
He walks down to the very end of the corridor, until he’s met with what is truly the furthest room - a utility closet, with a thin strip of light coming from underneath the door and the unmistakable sound of munching coming from behind it.   
  
Knock, knock.   
A long pause meets him after he knocks gently, and the munching comes to an anxious stop.  Until, finally, a soft little voice:   
“Come in.”   
Izaya can’t quite stop the smile that tugs at his lips as he opens the door and quickly steps inside.  He is met with the sight of the little princess sat on the floor with her legs crossed, the colourful plate that was surely once full of cookies sat in front of her.  Akane is looking up at him with an anxious pout, her eyes shimmering.   
“U-um...what is it?”   
  
Izaya tilts his head at her.   
“Well, I’ve been assigned with the important task of tracking down a notorious cookie thief,” he explains, his voice hushed and serious like he’s really talking about a job he’s been given.  Akane’s eyes quickly light up, looking all but delighted that not only is Izaya-onii-chan not mad at her, but he’s also willing to play.   
“Your father was rather distressed to find that your gift for Santa Claus was stolen, so Shiki-san and Akabayashi-san enlisted my help to track down the culprit.  You wouldn’t have happened to see this thief, would you, Miss Akane?”   
  
Akane holds a hand to her crump-covered lips to muffle a giggle, before she manages to school her expression into something wide-eyed and dramatic.   
“I did!” she insists, sitting up on her knees and bouncing just a little.  “U-um, I saw him just as he grabbed the plate! And I ran down here to chase him down and get the cookies back, bu-but he’d already eaten lots of them!”   
“And then where did he go?” Izaya asks, crouching down in front of Akane on the other side of the plate.  It isn’t entirely empty, but it is rather clear that it once held many, many more of those chocolate chip cookies than it does right now.   
  
“He disappeared!” Akane gasps.  It’s clear that she’s just playing along, she’s much too old to really believe any of it, and certainly too old to believe that she’s managing to fool Izaya.  But she certainly looks like she’s having fun.   
“You mean like magic?” Izaya whispers, eyes wide, and Akane nods with a big grin.   
“Yeah! I think he must’ve been an evil elf.  Or, um, maybe the Grinch! Yeah, the Grinch!! He disappeared like magic, and dropped these last few cookies everywhere, so, um, I was putting them back on the plate.  Then Izaya-onii-chan knocked on the door.”   
  
Izaya sighs, his shoulders dropping, and nods gravely.   
“It must’ve been scary,” he says, unable to hold back his growing smile as Akane fidgets and giggles.  “Thank goodness you’re so brave and managed to save these last few cookies. Do you think we should go back and tell everyone else how brave you were? I’m sure they’ll all be relieved that the cookies and their princess are safe.”   
Akane pouts somewhat at the idea of relenting her ‘loot’, but in order to keep up the picture of innocence, she probably has to play along.   
“Come on,” Izaya says warmly.  “Let’s go tell Akabayashi-san about your adventure.”   
  
He picks up the plate of cookies and stands gracefully, watching as Akane scrambles to her feet as well.  She’s still got crumbs and little smears of chocolate all over her face, but Izaya only hands her his handkerchief from his pocket and begins leading the way down the hallway back to Shiki’s office, offering an amused grin to the still-frantic men who turn to stare in amazement at him as he walks hand-in-hand with Akane.   
Both Shiki and Akabayashi turn to look as the door opens, and neither of them can quite suppress their looks of surprise as they see Izaya, Akane, and the plate of cookies.   
  
Akane runs immediately over to Akabayashi and leaps into his arms, already rambling rapid-fire about the story that she and Izaya had strung together as Akabayashi laughs affectionately and ruffles her glossy black hair.  Izaya, still holding the plate of cookies, walks over to Shiki with a small, self-satisfied smile. Shiki, to his surprise, is almost mirroring the expression.   
  
“Good job,” he says, his voice quiet and seemingly sincere.  Fatherly.   
After a moment’s hesitation, he reaches out and ruffles Izaya’s hair in much the same way as Akabayashi had ruffled Akane’s, letting out a soft, warm chuckle as Izaya lets out an indignant noise and flushes bright red, but seems to deeply enjoy the praise and attention.   
They stand there in a comfortable sort of silence until Akane finishes telling Akabayashi about her and Izaya-onii-chan’s adventure, and turns expectantly to Izaya and Shiki.   
  
“Now,” Shiki says, cooing.  “How about you and your little sister go and set out the nice snacks for Santa?”   
Izaya scowls at him.   
“Don’t push it.”


End file.
